


War of Hearts

by angelsfalling16



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Life-changing decisions, M/M, SnowBaz, a bit of angst, going against the mage, i give up on tagging, just read the summary, lol, stopping a wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:01:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25733263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsfalling16/pseuds/angelsfalling16
Summary: Simon and Agatha's arranged marriage is about to begin with a beautiful ceremony, but when someone crashes their wedding, it could put a wrench in their plans.*Requested by anon on Tumblr. This is basically that Malec kiss in Shadowhunters but with snowbaz.
Relationships: Simon Snow/Agatha Wellbelove, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 5
Kudos: 109





	War of Hearts

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from the song War of Hearts by Ruelle, which you should definitely listen to while reading this. (There is an acoustic version of this song that is so beautiful and makes for a more painful, thought-provoking listen. Like, I’ve got this whole other scene idea to go with that version that I won’t put here because I have rambled enough, but I highly recommend giving that version a listen as well if you have the time.)
> 
> Also, I deleted a couple of fics a while back, so this is my new 100th fic on ao3!! :D Thank you all for sticking around and continuing to read my fics. I wouldn't still be here without all of your love and support <3

As Simon stands at the altar, waiting for the moment that is supposed to change his life forever, he forces himself to take deep breaths. Now is not the moment to be panicking about whether this was the right decision. Granted, none of it was really _his_ decision, but he’s still worried, wondering if there was something he should have done differently.

But then the processional begins, and he no longer has any time to wonder. It’s too late.

The doors open to reveal the two bridesmaids. They look beautiful in matching blue dresses, and they are followed by Simon’s bride-to-be, dressed in a white dress that flares out at her waistline and flows elegantly out behind here with elegant gold detailing the bodice.

Her hair is braided away from her face and is draped over one shoulder, shimmering an almost gold color, and she smiles when she looks up at Simon.

_She looks beautiful_ , Simon thinks.

He may not be fully inclined to marry her, but he has to admit that this is a beautiful ceremony, and if he has to be forced to marry anyone, he’s glad that it’s her, one of his closest friends.

He even finds himself smiling at her as she moves closer to him. Maybe this day won’t be as horrible and dreaded as he used to think it would. Is it possible that an arranged marriage isn’t as bad he has believed it to be?

He hopes so because after today, there is no going back.

Agatha looks up at Simon, and he tries to ground himself, hoping that he doesn’t look quite as lost as he feels. He reaches out a hand to her as she steps up to him. She smiles at him again, but he finds it hard to meet her eyes when he knows that neither of them really wants this. They decided to go through with this, though, so he forces himself to smile and act like he wants to be there.

They exchange the traditional vows, and Simon tries to think of it as promising to be her best friend until death does them part. It’s practically the same thing, right? They love each other, and it may not be the way they’re meant to, but it can be enough. They can make this work.

Simon is just about to say those life-changing words, the ones that will change everything and seal their fate, when the chapel doors slam open, the sound as they hit the wall stopping Simon with his mouth hanging open.

He and Agatha turn to see who is interrupting their wedding, and Simon finds none other than Baz Pitch standing there, looking like he can’t believe that he’s doing this either. He quickly pulls himself together, though, and stares intently at Simon, hoping that he isn’t too late.

“What is that _vampire_ doing here?” The Mage hisses audibly.

No one responds to him, though. All eyes are on Baz, including Simon’s, and as his eyes find Baz, it’s like the world freezes, everything around him fading away so that all he can see is one man.

They say that when you die, your life flashes before your eyes, and in this moment, Simon has a similar experience, only it’s every moment that he has shared with Baz: Growing up next to him in a room at the top of a tower at an old boarding school. Following him down to the Catacombs that lay beneath the chapel night after night. A particularly bad fist fight where he went flying down the stairs. Getting lost in the woods and having to work together to find their way out. Watching Baz run across the football pitch. Glaring at each other across the dining hall. Trying to prove that Baz is a vampire. Spending Christmas together. And most importantly: kissing in a burning forest.

Simon watches it all play out with a deep ache in his chest.

He still doesn’t quite know why things played out the way they did after that night. He only remembers Baz inviting Agatha over to his house the next day and feeling immediately guilty about everything that happened between them the night before. (As well as that morning, right before she walked into the library.)

Simon could barely look at Baz after that, and they definitely didn’t ever talk about it. He couldn’t. If they had, Simon would have had to face more than his questionable attraction to a guy. He would have had to face the fact that he had betrayed Agatha in a way that he never meant to.

Telling her what happened would only make him feel better and bring her pain. He couldn’t do that to her. She didn’t deserve that. Their arranged marriage was pain enough for the both of them. He didn’t want to make that worse by admitting that he might have feelings for someone else.

Especially when that same person became one of his closest friends after they graduated.

Has Simon imagined what it would be like if things were different? Yes. Has he woken up countless mornings with a problem he couldn’t ignore after dreaming of a certain handsome vampire? He is embarrassed to admit that yes, he has.

But has he acted on those unrelenting feelings? No. Not since that last kiss in the library.

Anytime he is with Baz, he forces himself to focus on the fact that they are just friends. Friends who kissed a little back when they were young.

Now, they’re the closest of friends, and that’s not going to change.

Except that Baz refused to even attend Simon’s wedding. And now here he is, interrupting it in a way just as dramatic as when he returned to Watford for their eighth year after being gone for two months.

Simon wants to run over to him, the same way he wanted to back then, but he isn’t sure what he wants to do more: punch him or kiss him.

Maybe both. That’s the way it’s always been between them. A clash between hate and love. The hate melted away a long time ago, though, leaving only one thing in its wake, one thing that Simon has been trying to ignore for over several years now.

The wedding ceremony comes back to Simon slowly, and he realizes that everyone is waiting to see what he’ll do.

The thing is that he doesn’t know what to do.

He knows what he _wants_ to do, but what is the right move here? Is there anything that he can do here that won’t wind up hurting anyone? He doesn’t think so.

He hears Penny behind him asking, “Are you going to be alright, Simon?”

It’s enough to snap him out of his haze, but it takes him another moment and Agatha saying his nabefore he is able to look away from Baz.

Simon can’t hear anything except for the pounding of his heart in his chest, and as he meets Agatha’s eyes, he feels guilt and a tightness in his chest as he’s torn between two people, two paths, two very different futures. One that has been planned out for him and one that is riddled with uncertainties.

He knows that everyone is watching him and waiting for him to do something, and it feels like he’s suffocating under the weight of all of their eyes.

“I…” he starts, and he has to stop to take in a quick breath. “I can’t breathe.”

“I know. It’s okay.” Her voice is soft and encouraging, and Simon knows then that she doesn’t deserve this. She deserves to be happy and not tied down to someone who is in love with someone else.

“I can’t do this.” He watches as her smile slowly falters, but he keeps going. “I thought we were doing the right thing, but this isn’t it.”

She shakes her head, but she doesn’t seem sad, or even all that surprised. “You don’t have to explain.”

“Agatha, I’m sorry.”

She smiles softly at him, closer to her real smile. “You deserve to be happy, Si. I’ll be fine.”

Simon wants to believe her, so he takes a deep breath and turns back out to face everyone.

He looks towards Baz and his gaze catches on the shimmering green suit and the eyeliner the lines his eyes, highlighting their bright silver color. He can almost swear that there is a bit of glitter in his hair, which hangs in waves around his face, the blue ends of it brushing his shoulders and catching in the light and making him stand out even more. He is breathtakingly stunning, and once again, Simon finds himself unable to take his eyes off of him. Only, this time, he doesn’t have to.

Taking a deep breath, he steps down from the altar, his movements slow and calculated. He still isn’t sure that this is the right move, but he thinks that it’s the right move for _him_ and that’s what matters, right? Who cares what his father thinks?

His father never cared about him. He only cared about what an alliance with Agatha’s family could bring for him. He has never been interested in hearing about Simon’s thoughts or feelings, so why should Simon care what _he_ thinks.

He shouldn’t, which is why he keeps walking back down the aisle, his footsteps picking up pace as his feet carry him closer and closer to Baz. His father makes one last attempt to stop him, but Simon says, “Enough.”

He’s done with him. He is no longer going to listen to his demands.

Just a couple of more steps and he reaches Baz. He doesn’t pause as he reaches out and grabs his lapels, pulling him in and kissing him like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do.

He doesn’t care what everyone else must be thinking. All he cares about is this one man.

Baz is all he has ever cared about even if it has taken until now for him to finally admit it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! <3
> 
> Come find me on [Tumblr](https://angelsfalling16.tumblr.com/)


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